In September 2021, I had finished my Masters degree and was ready to get the hell out of my university city. At the same time, my best friend had started working remotely and was thinking of returning to his hometown.

Faced with the prospect of heading in separate directions, I did the most rational thing I could think of: I created an infographic designed to help us define the kind of commitments we wanted to share so that we could decide whether to head in the same direction instead.

This framework has been instrumental in setting the context for vulnerable, trusting conversations within my relationships. I have found it to be a powerful tool, and tools are meant to be both shared and repurposed.

Use, modify, and distribute with my full support.

This infographic may also exist in a pink colourway, shared by me under pseudonym.

other relationship anarchy resources

Use whatever works, discard whatever doesn’t. It’s all so personal, after all.

• The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy
• The relationship smörgåsbord (this links to the multiamory podcast on the topic, with an image of the smörgåsbord attached)
• Non-escalator relationship menu (a Reddit thread with a nice infographic)